A practical process to help you overcome adversities in your own life, by first overcoming your body and mind, and embracing fate!
Introduction
I first read about Viktor Frankl in Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The word that stuck with me from the section on Frankl is response-ability. Essentially, no matter what the external stimulant is, it’s your ability to respond that counts:
“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”
Viktor Frankl
The COVID-19 pandemic has led to the deaths of hundreds of thousands and caused grief for millions. It has also launched an avalanche of central bank money that further enriches the richest of society. At the same time, it has also unleashed economic forces that plunges millions around the world into financial and psychological adversities.
The personal adversities I had faced over the past years are of a much lesser scale to that of the pandemic. Nevertheless, I believe there are some practical and applicable lessons in here that you might find helpful in your journey to overcome adversities in your own life.
Overcome the body
Principle 1: Move
The reason why I structured the blog with the “Overcoming the Body” section preceding “Overcoming the Mind”, and have “Move” as the first principle is because:
Moving your body is one of the most beneficial things you can do for your mind.
Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D.: Five Surprising Ways Exercise Changes Your Brain
and
Your mind and body are intimately connected. And while your brain is the master control system for your body’s movement, the way you move can also affect the way you think and feel.
Srini Pillay, MD: How simply moving benefits your mental health
The first thing I would do in the morning is to hit the gym, usually at 6:45 am. During the first few weeks of starting the regime, I spent about 20 minutes in the gym. Over time, as I noticed the results and research for more effective ways to train different parts of the body, this increased to 40, then 50 minutes. Personally, I find that once I get started, the habit is like a self-sustaining machine powering itself. There’s no external compulsion and no need for personal trainers to push me along.
I had been doing so for the past 7 years. Even after the gym closure due to the pandemic, I stuck to the routine with a slight change in venue and timing. The highs I get after each workout is addictive. So is the awareness of the shift in my attitude in how I overcome adversities.
Principle 2: Build good routines
The importance of daily routines to the management of psychiatric or medical conditions, such as bipolar disorder and diabetes, and the development of communication skills in toddlers has been well established. In recent years, we have seen a proliferation of advice on the daily routines of billionaires, high-earning celebrities, and elite athletes. I guess it’s less interesting for journalists to write about the daily routines of the average Janes and Joes, but these would be no less important.
Personally, the book that got me into reassessing and redesigning my daily routines is The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. According to Duhigg’s research, a habit loop has three components: a cue, a routine and a reward. To replace a bad habit with a good one, you need to replace the routine.
Keystone habit
Duhigg further elaborated on the importance of a keystone habit. This is the (good) habit that has the capability to trigger other (good) habits. In other words, once you replace one set of routine, you set the ball rolling for the potential replacement of other routines.
The first keystone habit I cultivated actively was my morning exercise, which I detailed in the previous section. On days when my schedule does not permit the morning workout, I find a different time slot. For instance, I had to bring my daughter to her morning classes on Saturdays. Instead of skipping the Saturday workout, I started a different Saturday exercising routine in the evening. I would go for a longer run mixed with bodyweight exercises. I ran around the neighbourhood village, across a bridge road to the other side of the river then back again across the same bridge.
The Saturday workout is now my favourite session of the week. I especially enjoy savouring the different sensations during the session. The sweat and breeze on my face, the greenery of trees and mountains against the blue skies and fluffy white clouds, the touch of the stone bench against my back as I do my sit-ups and core exercises, the sputtering of the motor of the boats and ferries, and even the pungent smell of diesel from these same vehicles.
Building on keystone habits
After establishing the keystone habit of exercising, I started another – cold shower. The benefits of this practice has been variously documented. This article is medically reviewed and includes links to source research. Amongst the research findings is the following from a 2007 study by two cancer researchers Nikolai A Shevchuk and Sasa Radoja:
… cold stress repeated daily can have a stimulating effect on cell-mediated immunity [3-6], while inhibiting humoral immunity to some extent…
Nikolai A Shevchuk and Sasa Radoja, 2007: Possible stimulation of anti-tumor immunity using repeated cold stress: a hypothesis
Given the climate where I live, cold showers are perfectly fine during summer and autumn, especially after working out. When I first started showering cold during the winter, it was tolerable. These days, it is simply another part of my routine to enhance my ability to overcome adversities.
Intermittent fasting
After establishing the habit of cold shower, I started looking into intermittent fasting. According to research:
Intermittent fasting (IF) is a term used to describe a variety of eating patterns in which no or few calories are consumed for time periods that can range from 12 hours to several days, on a recurring basis …. IF regimens that induce the metabolic switch have the potential to improve body composition in overweight individuals. Moreover, IF regimens also induce the coordinated activation of signalling pathways that optimize physiological function, enhance performance, and slow ageing and disease processes.
Anton et. al., 2017: Flipping the Metabolic Switch: Understanding and Applying the Health Benefits of Fasting
Every Friday, I skip dinner. Assuming the last meal finishes at 2 pm, and I breakfast the next day at 8 am, I get a period of 18 hours of intermittent fasting. I chose Friday because my wife typically cooks a sumptuous seafood meal over the weekend. In my mind that kind of balances out. I’ve recently increased the frequency of fast to twice a week, adding Tuesday dinner to the skipped meal. I find the practice of intermittent fasting also helps with my impulse management, which is an essential skill to overcome adversities.
Another more recent book on establishing habit or routines is James Clear’s Atomic Habits. You can watch a video introduction by him here.
Overcome the mind
The positive effects of overcoming the body do not stop there. It overflows to the mind and helps me develop a more resilient self. I had written about the 7 Steps to Science Your Way to Personal Growth, with a focus on developing conducive mental attitudes for the mind. Three of the concrete mind-exercises I practice daily are the following.
Daily affirmation
One lesson I took away from Tony Robbin’s book Awaken the Giant Within is the importance of daily affirmation. I used to incorporate this practice into my gym workout. After every workout session, on my way back home from the gym, I would pause at the podium of my apartment block. I would do my warm down and breathing exercise facing the mountain. As I breathe in and out, I would recite the affirmations as I watch the sun rising from behind the mountain. This has been disrupted post the gym closure. This is a reminder to myself to reinitiate the practice.
My affirmation involves quantifiable metrics and time limits. I must admit I am only halfway where I would like to be at this point in life according to the affirmation. However, it has given me a Why to persevere and contributed to the How.
Meditation
I typically do this on my daily commute. I would download guided meditations onto my phone, and tune in at the start of the journey. My favourite guided meditation is one by Dr. Barry Morguelan. It’s about 17 minutes long, which is perfect given my journey time.
Other than getting my mind prepped for work in the morning and unwinding from it in the evening, I also find myself more aware of opportunities of serendipity. In more than a few occasions, I have found myself being thrown a last-minute challenge and realising that the person I just got to know this morning seems to be in the right position to advise.
Evening reflections
At the end of the day, I look back at what I had done and what I had missed. I praise God for any unexpected favourable turn of events and thank the people that had offered advice and assistance. Lastly, I gave myself a pat on the back for completing tasks, even self-assigned ones.
I also think of one thing I thought I can improve on. This could be very technical and narrow, e.g. how I could have run a certain assessment more effectively. It could also be more generic and broad, e.g. how I might alter my response to certain situations. One thing to bear in mind is I try to limit this to one item. This is because of the Magic Ratio. To keep this exercise sustainable and not get swamped with self-loathing, it is essential to give yourself more positive feedback than negative ones. The Magic Ratio advocates that the number of positive to negative should be 5-to-1.
Embrace fate
Despite your best efforts at improving your body and mind, life has its own schedule. This schedule may not include beds of roses after you have exerted your best efforts. Nevertheless, this falls outside your zone of control. So rather than throwing yourself a pity-party, the best way to approach life and overcome adversities thrown at you, as advocated by the Stoics and Nietzsche, is to embrace it.
In Latin, the two words to describe this attitude is Amor Fati. It means “love of one’s fate”, including suffering and loss, viewing them as necessary. I combine this with the pronoia belief I wrote about previously. I interpret them like this:
All the adversities we are going through are necessary along the path that the universe has prepared for us. As we emerge on the other side of the adversity, our better self is brought forth that can better face the next challenge.
Mugz Chill
Summary
To summarise, in overcoming adversities, what we really need to overcome is ourselves. To do that, we need to overcome:
- the body: by moving, establishing keystone habits and build on those habits;
- the mind: by practising daily affirmations, meditation and end-of-day reflections;
- fate by embracing it: Amor Fati
I hope you find ideas in the above that you can use to arm yourself to better deal with adversities in life. Do leave a comment!
